Friday, May 11, 2007

Bingo with a difference – bitchy bingo with the LIPS ( crew in New York City

My life has never been the same since I went to New York for a week with work.

The weather was rubbish, and somehow I only managed to buy myself a wallet – ok, so it’s not a real Dolce and Gabbana piece, but shops NYC’s Soho would have you dumbstruck to tell the difference between the genuine article, but off course the price tells you different – and a black shirt that I can now barely fit into, but that’s another story... By the way the wallet’s quality was as good as the $10 I paid for it – the inner seams on one of the compartments had come undone inside a week of using it, so I was far from impressed.

Anyway, like I was saying, the weather was pretty poor for March – like -6 degree Fahrenheit – and I’d given up on fashion because every nightly stroll to the must-go Madison and Fifth avenues left my head feeling like an ice pick.

I couldn’t wait to get back to the UK’s unpredictable weather because frankly, I couldn’t see what all the damn fuss was about the Big Apple anyway! Not ‘til I went to this bitchy bingo thing. Near Grenwich Village, LIPS ( is well hid, but once you find it, you’ll want the whole world and his dog to know.

Basically, it’s bingo compeered by transvestites. You get a sit-down meal, and you play bingo. It’s one of those things that you have to go to because no one can describe it to you fully. The trannies are not the tacky sort by any means. Lily Savage would look like Jade Goody, and the LIPS trannies would be Sarah Jessica Parker or someone like that. Talking of SJP, I believe there was an episode of Sex and the City that had a scene at LIPS. They had the immaculate looking one with the big green hair, who, I have to say, is the sweetest person ever. She’s on a diet, but I think she looks fab just as she is.

After about five or so Margaritas I’d forgotten all about my gripes about NYC – the horrid subways and their more than confusing maps – not to mention the rip-off metro card, and NYC’s weird toilets (could someone please tell me why they have that weird split in the middle?), not to mention the delis, which left me bloated for weeks.

Ginger, the compere for the night was hilarious. Then she clocked me and my Korean work colleague and that was it. Next thing I know I was standing in front of the whole venue giggling like a hyena on acid, saying this God-awful things back to her – under duress, of course…

Anyway, all the trannies do their little performances from Broadway shows. And they’re actually quite entertaining with it too. Some poor guy got whipped to within half and inch of his life by one tranny’s wig. But he wasn’t complaining… that’s another thing about tranny bingo that makes it so much fun. Everyone there comes with an open mind and to have fun. Like this 73-year-old woman who was there to celebrate her birthday.

How could I forget about the prizes on offer if you get a full house? I’m sure even Anne Summers would need a special license for some of those toys. I think a lap dance was the most ‘reserved’ prize.

My best part though was when my work colleague was accosted by one of the trannies who thought he looked ‘cute’. Being married, and only there because I’d harped on about going so much he felt he had to take me, this poor guy didn’t know what to do with himself when he had a derriere stuck in his face. Quality.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Weird toilets