What ever happened to the modern man?
This is not another rant about how twisted society is, so please don’t click away! But what is happening to the so-called modern guy?
I just had a long conversation with one of my male friends about his perceived expectations of a woman and I nearly strangled myself. If he has these views – and up until today I thought he was your archetypal modern guy; I think that’s partly why he’s one of my best friends (up until now!!!!) – then there’s not much hope for most guys out there.
Basically, it’s the age-old story of some guys wanting to have their cake and eat it. They want a woman who works, earns a good crust and is attractive. Fair enough, I thought. But, this drop-dead-gorgeous career woman also needs to come home, do most of the cooking, cleaning and then once she’s done, be ready for any ‘womanly duties’ – if you get my meaning – when the lights go out.
What makes me feel sad is that he admitted that this is a pretty hard life for any woman – if she’s mad enough to run herself ragged doing all these things while he sits on his derriere – but he basically said that he wants to relax when he comes home. Fair enough, but what about her? When asked what he would bring into the relationship, he backtracked a bit. To paraphrase, he basically said he would do a bit of washing etc, but not cleaning like dusting etc.
I just had a long conversation with one of my male friends about his perceived expectations of a woman and I nearly strangled myself. If he has these views – and up until today I thought he was your archetypal modern guy; I think that’s partly why he’s one of my best friends (up until now!!!!) – then there’s not much hope for most guys out there.
Basically, it’s the age-old story of some guys wanting to have their cake and eat it. They want a woman who works, earns a good crust and is attractive. Fair enough, I thought. But, this drop-dead-gorgeous career woman also needs to come home, do most of the cooking, cleaning and then once she’s done, be ready for any ‘womanly duties’ – if you get my meaning – when the lights go out.
What makes me feel sad is that he admitted that this is a pretty hard life for any woman – if she’s mad enough to run herself ragged doing all these things while he sits on his derriere – but he basically said that he wants to relax when he comes home. Fair enough, but what about her? When asked what he would bring into the relationship, he backtracked a bit. To paraphrase, he basically said he would do a bit of washing etc, but not cleaning like dusting etc.
This is a guy who hasn’t even hit 30 yet, so what’s happened? I’m so perplexed by the conversation that I’m suffering from writers’ block, and that’s pretty hard for someone who talks as much as I do!
I don’t want this to turn into some stereotypical whine about how hard-up women are and what lazy dogs men are, so I’m leaving it up to the men to enlighten me on this viewpoint, because so far, I have lost hope!
I don’t want this to turn into some stereotypical whine about how hard-up women are and what lazy dogs men are, so I’m leaving it up to the men to enlighten me on this viewpoint, because so far, I have lost hope!
I really think that a lot of young guys actually resent women working and being able to look after themselves. Afterall, it is the financial freedom we now have that means we don't have to stand for any chauvanistic views, right? In our grandparents' days women basically had to go with what the man wanted, and there would be no question that grandma would cook and clean and pander over her family. Yes, I don't see there being anything wrong with that. She was probably a housewife and her 'job' was to do these things.
These days, the working woman is almost penalised. If I think about my best mate's views, then it's like working is out of choice, but the woman still has to do all the homely things ON HER OWN afterwards. I'm still stuck at the question I asked my best mate: What are you brining to the relationship?
I'm still waiting for an answer...
